A Much Overdue Post

I was reminded today that I haven’t updated the blog since June.  June was a busy month. We suddenly lost my grandfather after he became injured and developed complications.  I came down ill the night before his funeral, and two weeks later dragged myself to the doctor when I had given up on the notion it was viral. And our son’s beautiful birth mother first contacted me through email.

I was afraid to get my hopes up then, I had received these kinds of emails before, but I had a feeling.

We continued to email back and forth and I liked her more and more, and at the end of July, it suddenly became real, we would be parents.  And August 14, 2016, we did, to a lovely baby boy with a full head of hair.

He had to spend a bit of time in the NICU because he was “agitated” and vomiting, which initially resulted in low blood sugar.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t until he was home that we discovered he is intolerant to milk protein (despite me repeatedly bringing it up in hospital about it being formula-related).  He then went to the agency’s foster home until our approval was submitted and approved by the ministry (it turns out that summer is a really terrible time for trying to get things done quickly, since everyone is on vacation).  We visited him every day for a feeding and snuggles, except for when the foster family was busy.

September 14 I received a text from our agency that William would be coming home with us the next day.  I couldn’t get the words out, I believe I shoved my phone in James’s face while jumping up and down.

He is now 5 months old and just learned to roll from his back to his stomach.  Today for the first time ever he did a complete roll, from tummy to back to tummy again.  I think he was shocked at first and then erupted into laughter.  Sometimes I watch him sleeping in my arms (he still does not want to nap in the crib) and think of how surreal it is that it actually all happened, that he’s here.

We’re now looking towards finalization.  We have two more placement visits, our last one in March, and then our final report will be written.  When that is completed and sent in, we’ll find out when our court date is.  Just thinking of it makes me a bit choked up, though in another way, it’s a formality. He already is a part of our family.

Two

I walk into the room we plan to be the nursery if or when we become parents.  Right now there sits a change table I was given when I was still pregnant, a bassinet we were given by my generous relatives when they found out we were adopting, and a few baby clothes, just waiting.  I run my fingers over the few sleepers and onesies, I pull them off the hanger and marvel at how a tiny human could one day be wearing it.  Every now and then I pull out each baby item we’ve purchased over the last 5 years and look it over, before carefully putting it back.  I run my fingers over the ruffles on the bassinet and picture rocking it beside the bed in the middle of the night while trying to remember old lullabies, making up words when I forget.  I imagine late nights rocking in James’ recliner with Netflix on mute with a baby who can’t sleep. I was a colicky baby so I’m being realistic, ha.

No News is No News

I’m afraid I’m sounding like a broken record.  Other than a sudden influx of scam adoption emails from foreign countries (they are mass spamming the emails they find on the profiles on Canada Adopts), there has been no word from our licensees since February.

But lately I can’t shake this feeling that something is going to happen soon, though I have no basis for it. It’s a strange feeling, a restlessness I can’t put my finger on, to feel so close, with no tangible reason for feeling that way.

I just mentioned on Facebook how within the span of 24 hours, a certain quote showed up on my Facebook feed twice, from two different sources.  Here is the strange part: the one page that shared it, I have no memory of following.  And I had never seen appear in my feed before.  The quote suddenly popped up in the early morning as I chatted to my sister through messenger. My eyes teared up.  That evening, it popped up again, different picture but same quote – this time from one of our agencies.

What I didn’t share on my Facebook post, because skeptic me is a bit embarrassed to really admit it, was that the night before, figuring I had nothing to lose, had asked the universe for a clear sign to appear within the next 24 hours, if I would be a mother.

This is the quote:

“The moment you’re ready to quit is usually the moment right before the miracle happens. Don’t give up.”

Our Adoption Video

We’ve been working on a little adoption video for a week or two.  As helpful as an adoption profile can be, we felt a video would give a better peek at who we are and the life we hope to share with a child, and their birth family.  I’ve added a brand new page on the blog where it can be easily found. Our sincere apologies for the poor audio, it’s definitely better heard with headphones!